Author Margaret Eby loves to cook, but she has struggled to eat during bouts of depression.
The thought of chopping an onion or even boiling water was too much for her — something many people deal with when they’re just too tired, anxious or depressed to cook a meal.
That’s what inspired Eby to write her book, “You Gotta Eat: Real-Life Strategies for Feeding Yourself When Cooking Feels Impossible.”
“I would be so depressed or anxious that food sounded horrible, and just the idea of figuring out what to eat got so overwhelming that my husband would come in and bring me an apple or a banana and say, ‘OK, well you do have to eat something, and I’m gonna stay here until you eat a couple of bites of something,’” she says. “I really needed that sometimes. Even as someone who loves eating, it’s not always the thing that I want to be doing when I’m feeling that low.”
Below are some simple recipes and tricks from Eby to inspire you to eat something when you really don’t want to get into the kitchen.
The ‘party’ meal
“I think one of the main things that helps, or it’s helped me a great deal when I’m in a position where food sounds horrible, is to kind of release yourself from the idea that meals have to be a certain thing.
“If you’re at a party, for example, and you have a couple nibbles of cheese and crackers and you have maybe some smoked fish or maybe some tiny hot dogs or just a few chips and dips, that counts as a meal. You’re not walking out of that party thinking, ‘I didn’t eat,’ and you can do that at home, too. You don’t need to have a party to have a kind of snack dinner or just assemble what you want on a plate.”
Think like a kid
“Another trick I always have is to lean into the things that have given me comfort, perhaps as a child or as a teenager. I love a tuna melt. I couldn’t have gotten through college and high school without tuna melts. So when I’m feeling really low, I know that that’s something that I can execute and make kind of in my sleep, and I think rather than putting so much pressure on yourself to make this fabulous new meal, just lean into getting yourself fed however you can and whatever feels good to you in that moment.
“Maybe it’s a tuna melt, maybe it’s Triscuits and cheese, maybe it’s apples and peanut butter. Don’t feel ashamed and don’t feel guilty for not having something that’s [an] ‘assembled meal.’ A disassembled meal is still a meal.”
Don’t be afraid of the microwave
“I love the microwave actually. In this book, I think I sound like a 1950s appliance evangelist because I rely on them so much, but I think microwaves have gotten a little bit out of fashion; but they’re wonderful. They’re essentially just steam ovens in your home, and you can whip together things so, so quickly in a microwave, including making your own scrambled eggs without ever taking out a pan.”
Find joy in nourishment
“Nourishment is so important, and I think it can be something you really neglect when you’re going through a hard time. But if you have something that sparks even a little bit of joy or creativity or delight — like for me, crumbling up Doritos and putting them on random meals gives me a lot of delight -—I think that spirit of playfulness and creativity goes out the window when you’re having a hard time.
“But if you can harness it even a little bit in what you’re eating, my advice is to lean into that all the way, whether that’s playing with spices, whether that’s just cooking the same meal over and over again because that’s what’s bringing comfort, whether it’s just throwing a handful of frozen peas into a box of macaroni and cheese. Whatever you have to do to get through a hard time in the kitchen, do it.”
Embrace shortcuts
“I mean, chopped garlic in a jar is a nemesis of many chefs, mostly because when you process it to put it in the jar, it cooks it slightly so there’s less garlic flavor. But the truth is, sometimes you just don’t have it in you to cut up garlic. So if you want to use more chopped garlic, that’s also fine.
“One of the shortcuts I have in my book is using a jar of salsa as cut-up vegetables, and that is something that I recommend all the time. I have a recipe in there that’s black bean soup in a blender. You put a jar of salsa with some cans of black beans. Because what is a jar of salsa? All it is is cut-up tomatoes and peppers and onions and spices. So rather than finding all those things and cutting them up, you could just use a jar of salsa.”
The Super Bowl
“My husband and I have a thing called the Super Bowl, which comes several times a year [and] sometimes it coincides with the actual Super Bowl. All it is is that we’re having dip for dinner. We’ll just look at each other and say, ‘Is it the Super Bowl?’ We’ll say, ‘Yes, it’s the Super Bowl.’”
This interview was slightly edited for clarity.
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Samantha Raphelson produced and edited this interview for broadcast with Catherine Welch. Raphelson also adapted it for the web.
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Book excerpt: ‘You Gotta Eat’
By Margaret Eby
This article was originally published on WBUR.org.
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